2/02/2005

I've got it; California can secede, and Ahnold can be their President

First, a litmus test for employment: no tobacco use. At all. Ever. Even if you've just had a baby and want to puff on a cigar. Do it, and you'll lose your job.

Secondly, like a Super Nanny that monitors all your poops and piffles, the company wants to keep track of how much water you drink, how much produce you eat, and how much exercise you get. They dangle money instead of Cheerios, but it's the same principle: Behave, and we'll give you what you want.

Next, tests for alcohol, weight gain, cholesterol, the Alzheimer's gene, chocolate, fast food, church attendance, traffic tickets, sunbathing, and sprinkling on toilet seats.

OK, not yet. But as soon as they can get away with it.

The company is aptly named Weyco (misspelled with an "ey"); unconfirmed whether their president's name is Koresh.

It's bad enough we have to suffer an Idiot Boy King claiming his Divine Right in the Oval Office. Now our employers will take what is left of our privacy and fun, and toss it in the bonfire along with our favorite Guns 'n Roses CD ("G N'R Lies", 1988).

South Knox Bubba makes a good case for separating health insurance from employment and employers.

As an aside, don't miss the letter from John Cleese to America.

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